how long have i put this off??

i always said i wanted to start blogging. shit, i used to say i wanted to write a book of my modeling experiences accompanied with pictures from each shoot. i guess i still could someday. maybe i will..... probably i won't.

fucking pisces.

so, instead, now that i have a newfound passion, i will use this to talk about those deep dark nasty ass feelings that sometimes take over. all in all right now, life is great. i have two shoots over the next 72 hours that i am stoked for and things couldn't be better.

i have been spoiled. the feedback on my photography has been super good so far. people i consider mentors have told me i have "the eye", which is groovy. night before last, i scanned 107 negatives from the past week. my scanner is laughing at me. it's wiggling and poking it's finger in my eye. it's making my shots look like crap, and instead of doing what i would normally do, give up and take everything to the lab and let it sit there on my desk collecting dust, i will conquer it god dammit. just give me time.

but for now, model shoots will go to the lab. it is cheap and they bust em out for me in a couple hours, and they look reallllly good.

good thing i take enough pictures of nothing to make the home scanner worth my time.

i am watching the clock. tonight, i am shooting holly. i luv her. she's super neato lookin. i hope i do her justice. i have no plan, am shooting at a place i have never been, and shooting at a time i have never shot. but she's good...... and the house (from what everyone has said) is fantastic. hopefully i can make the light behave. actually if the sun goes down it may give me an excuse to put the 3200 in my camera i have been carrying around for weeks to see what happens. renee may join us and i can pick her brain on a few things. she said she may want to shoot me too, which if there is enough time, would be cool. i have this image of holly and me in my head, and it might be cool if it comes to fruition. if not, that's cool too. shooting is my priority. having my picture taken is fun, but it's kinda like that who "been there done that" thing right now. i don't even have my fake nails on, and i don't really care.

the pic was taken up at tony's aunt and uncle's ranch in whitetrashville a couple weekends ago. it's my new favorite.